it's britney, bitch

if this episode is any indication of things to come, i think it's safe to say: britney's back. she was, hands down, the best part of this episode.

gimme gimme more.

just had to share this amazing gif

my two favorite ladies... EVER

steve-o's alky mom fed him booze as a baby

is anyone really all that surprised? srsly.


(the part of me that still responds to that pesky soul of mine has to add: good on steve-o for entering rehab, though it was against his will, after showing suicidal tendencies).

source: us magazine

oh she just bein' miley!

...b-but... that's not miley!!

this is, in fact, a super creepy was rendition brought to you by none other than new york city's madame tussands.

really, i don't get why people pay money for this (other than, of course, the ability to pretend to have taken a picture with a celeb). these figures really creep me out. sure, they're realistic and that's pretty great and a fantastic display of talent. but sheesh. fuckin' creeps me out.

lilo not as edgy as paris

a poorly shot, grainy video was released on hey-i-gotta-rub-one-out site, xtube, was said to be of everyone's favorite now-sober(?) lindsay lohan noshing on ex-rehab bf calum best's peen. apparently there were a few other videos connected with the original that have better shots of the girl's face, proving that the video was not, in fact, lilo's.

lindsay, where has your edginess gone?!

source: the blemish

groundbreaking news: wine-o cuts herself

friends of the star say, "meh, at least she's not smoking crack anymore."

ohai! i can has 2 much monee bb?!

what better way to mourn the loss of a beloved pet than to turn that pet into a lovely, sparkly piece of jewelry? think it's a stupid idea? i sure do. while i have mourned the loss of pets in the past, wearing their remains on a chain around my neck or a ring or bracelet isn't exactly an appealing idea to me.

but what do i know? kimora lee simmons thinks it's a lovely idea. that's why she's having the remains of her recently deceased dog, zoe, made into a diamond she can tote around and use as a lovely icebreaker. "hey honey, have i introduced you to zoe? she used to be my puppy, but now she's my fave diiiiaaammoonnnnnd!"

douche.

source: starpulse

this just in: you're not cool

there's no story here. i just had to point out the horrendous "fashion" choices of douchebags soulja boy & lil mama. first of all, mr soulja, what the hell made you think that ruining a perfectly fine pair of d&g sunglasses by scribbling your name across the lenses would be a good idea? it's not cool, and it has to be pretty annoying to see that shit while you're trying to walk around.

second, lil mama, what the hell is that hanging out of your mouth? it looks like a blinged out pacifier (which, hello, so went out of fashion about a decade ago, if not longer... regardless, they were always stupid. it's just worse now that it's not even trendy).

britney to make appearance on how i met your mother

1. her hair appears to have been washed
2. she looks fantastic, all around
3. props to brit brit for demanding that she meet the cast before being given the role, so that they could decide if she was someone they wanted to work for.
4. props to the cast for giving her the go
5. can't wait for monday; everyone best tune in.

britney spears: break the ice

i don't really get it. the video doesn't really relate to the song. but i love it.

k-fed really isn't a bad guy (and still really really hot)

first of all, let's just all rejoice in the fact that k-fed has (allegedly) accepted the fact that he will probably never be taken seriously as a rapper.

if you need anyone to console you k, i'm here.

seriously. you're hot.

but i digress.

because he's hot.

apparently mr fed has been in talks with producers to film a reality show documenting his life as a single dad, but, yummy mchotsalot has nixed those plans in the wake of the ever-changing britney drama. a pretty stand-up move on his part, i think (not to mention, the last thing i think his kids need are cameras in their face at home. they get enough of it when they leave the house).

source: e! online

heath ledger: death an accident

autopsy reports have come back and confirmed that, heath ledger did, in fact, die from an accidental overdose due to a lethal combination of prescription medication. his family is hoping that the suicide/drug abuse rumors come to a halt in the light of this evidence.

here's hoping.

i'm a big boy now

kate hudson was spotted toting an empty stroller around manhattan today, as her 4-year-old son, ryder, walked beside her. this photo prompts the question: what the fuck warrants use of a stroller with a child that old, who is clearly capable of walking on his own two feet?

britney out of the hospital

tmz has reported that britney spears was released from her intended 14-day psychiatric hold after doctors decided she was not a legal danger to herself or anyone else.

britney stayed home for an hour or two (a record for her), before pulling out in her brand-spanking-new mercedes to paint the town crazy. her destination: the beverly hills hotel. swarms of paparazzi (likely the biggest yet) followed her in a "high-speed chase" of o.j. proportions.

shortly after arriving at the beverly hills hotel, super creep adnan was seen pulling up to the hotel. a planned visit? an ambush visit? no one knows.

being preggers is NOT an excuse to look like shit

yeah yeah, so she's rocking the pumps while she's carting around twin babies in her gullet. of course, i agree that this is the most fabulous, diva-rificly awesome thing. ever. i bet vicky beckham wore stilettos every day of her preggersy too. probably even after her water broke.

however, miss lo, just because you're rocking stilettos does not mean you can slack off with the rest of your ensemble. especially at fashion week.



tomorrow, let's show up with, oh, i don't know, maybe hair that looks combed. oh and, being that everyone knows you got a couple buns in your oven, perchance you could rock an outfit that doesn't look like an silk potato sack?

thanks.

britney in rolling stone

once again, britney spears graces the pages of rolling stone. this feature, however, is strikingly different than any of her previous cameos in the notorious music mag. here's an excerpt from the article:

A pop star at the mall is an eternal cause for happiness, especially on a Sunday afternoon in the Valley. One moment, shoppers in the Westfield Topanga mall are living in the real world, monotonously selecting a new shade of eye shadow or rubbing perfume on wrists, but upon the rapture of Britney Spears, they are giggling, laughing, orgasmic, already sharing their secret on cell phones. "Her legs are actually really skinny," an adolescent whispers into her Sidekick, as Britney beelines for the Betsey Johnson boutique, pseudo-punk designer of evening dresses and splashy heels worn to suburban high school proms. In person, Britney is shockingly beautiful — clear skin, ruby lips, a perfectly proportioned twenty-six-year-old porcelain doll with a nasty weave. She cuts through the crowd swiftly, the way she used to when 20,000 adoring fans mobbed her outside a concert, with her paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, trailing behind.

Only a few kids are in the store, a young girl with her brother and two blondes checking out fake-gold charm bracelets. Britney rifles the racks as the Cure's "Pictures of You" blasts into the airless pink boutique, grabbing a pink lace dress, a few tight black numbers and a frilly red crop top, the kind of shirt that Britney used to wear all the time at seventeen but isn't really appropriate for anyone over that age. Then she ducks into the dressing room with Ghalib. He emerges with her black Am Ex.

The card won't go through, but they keep trying it.

"Please," begs Ghalib, "get this done quickly."

One of the girls runs to Britney's dressing room, explaining the situation through a pink gauze curtain.

A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member's deathbed. "Fuck these bitches," screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. "These idiots can't do anything right!"

Ghalib dashes over to console her, but she's already spitting, growling, throwing a big bottle of soda on the floor so that it begins to spill underneath the curtain, and then she's got a box of tissues and is throwing them on top of the wet floor along with piles of discarded merchandise. A new card finally goes through, but by then Britney is out the door, leaving her shirt on the ground and replacing it with the red top. "Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck," she keeps screaming, her face splotchy and red as she crosses the interminable mall floor, the crowd behind her growing larger and larger. "Leave us alone!" yells Ghalib.

The siblings run after Britney to get a video to put up on YouTube, and some of the shopgirls run after her to hand off the merchandise she left behind, and there's an entire bridal party wearing yellow T-shirts who have pulled out camera phones too. A crush of managers in black shirts and gold name tags try to keep the peace, but the crowd running after Britney gets larger, and now the shopgirls have ­started to catch up to her, one of them slipping spectacularly in her platform shoes, grazing her elbow. She pulls herself up, mustering the strength to tap Britney's shoulder. "Um, I'm from the South too," she mumbles, "and I was wondering if I could get a picture with you for my little sister."

Britney turns to Ghalib and grabs his arm. "I don't want her talking to me!" she screams. She whirls around and stares the girl deep in the eyes, her lips almost vibrating with anger. "I don't know who you think I am, bitch," she snarls, "but I'm not that person."

source: rolling stone

rihanna shows up for nyc fashion week

and apparently she's been taking fashion tips from lindsay.

james bond just got good... err, bad... wait..

neil jackson, also known as god, has reportedly been cast to be the new bad guy in the latest installment of the james bond film series, currently filming.

finally, a reason to watch a james bond movie!

source: mi6

pop star update

as you know, i've sort of laid low on the britney posts as of late. truth be told, the once fun-to-call-crazy pop star has, as everyone knows, taken a huge toll for the worse, and it's not quite so amusing anymore; it's more sad.

anyhoo, to recap: britney's stay at the mount sanai hospital has been extended to a mandatory 14-day stay for psychiatric observation, and legal authority has been transferred from douchebag sam lufti to britney's dad, jamie.

naturally, sam is disputing this decision, but in light of the following e-mail published by bitten and bound, lufti may have some difficulty:

Please get a message to Britney Spears, Sam will probably make her commit suicide, I personally know Sam, PLEASE READ
I personally know Sam Lutfi and he is a master manipulator, he almost made my good friend Danny Haines kill himself.
I just want to get a message to Britney to warn her of Sam’s real intentions.
I have access to hundreds of emails, text messages, voice messages of Sam talking about wanting to kill my friend Danny and that he should just kill himself among other bizarre statements he has made.
Danny met Sam and soon after Danny moved in with Sam as a new roommate, not long after that it went downhill.
I felt like I was Danny’s therapist for several months trying to help him get away from Sam and his brain washing.
Sam had stolen a total around of $18,000 from Danny from using his credit cards to buy plane tickets for himself to forging his checks that the credit card companies send you for cash advances. I went with Danny to one of the gas stations his mom owns to attempt to collect the money from Sam’s mother. I had Sam’s mom with checkbook in hand writing Danny a check until Sam showed up an made a huge scene at the gas station
Danny and I flew my airplane to Las Vegas for the weekend and I spent several hours with Danny and finally got him to call the bank and report the fraud Sam Lutfi had committed against Danny’s bank account. Before that phone call, Danny was very depressed because of what Sam had made him, after that phone call Danny’s eyes has life in them again and we went out that night night and had a great time. Sam is so convincing that about a week later Danny cancelled the fraud report after talking to Sam.
Please do your research on this clown, Danny has a restraining order (the court transcripts prove Sam is a Jackass) find it by searching North Orange County court records Fullerton Ca. case number 07NL02915
Sam also vandalized a older women’s new car at Costco last year because she took his parking spot. Sam took a pair of pliers and destroyed her vehicle. They could not find him because his Mercedes S500 was new and had no license plates yet. I’m in the process of trying to get Sam arrested for that through the Culver City Police Dept.

Thank You,
Ken Dungey

we'll let his e-mail speak for itself. additionally, us weekly reported:

Lutfi has had two restraining order against him for violent verbal and physical attacks, according to complaints obtained by Us, and has gone by multiple aliases, including Osama N. Lutti and Osamah N. Lutfi.

In a 2005 complaint, Jumana Issa, a business acquaintance, claims Lutfi “harassed me repeatedly with obscene e-mails, offensive faxes, telephone voice mails (around 1 a.m. to 3 a.m.), out-of-control behavior and outrageous telephone hang-ups (around 15 to 30 a day).” In one fax, Lutfi scolded: “Peel yourself away from all the candy … and overhangin [sic] belly … and answer my e-mails.”

His former neighbor, Douglas Snoland, filed a similar complaint in 2004, alleging that Lutfi tried to kick down his front door when he suspected Snoland of having his car towed. Snoland also accused Lutfi of wanting to kill his 73-year-old disabled mother. In the complaint, Snoland accused Lutfi of saying: “I will beat your ass … Your mother is a f—–g old hag. You are a f—-t. You will regret the day you ever met me.” Lutfi’s attorney denied the threats, but a judge granted a three-year restraining order to Lutfi to stay at least 15 feet away from Snoland and his mom.

this person needs to be out of her life for good.