it's britney, bitch

if this episode is any indication of things to come, i think it's safe to say: britney's back. she was, hands down, the best part of this episode.

gimme gimme more.

just had to share this amazing gif

my two favorite ladies... EVER

steve-o's alky mom fed him booze as a baby

is anyone really all that surprised? srsly.


(the part of me that still responds to that pesky soul of mine has to add: good on steve-o for entering rehab, though it was against his will, after showing suicidal tendencies).

source: us magazine

oh she just bein' miley!

...b-but... that's not miley!!

this is, in fact, a super creepy was rendition brought to you by none other than new york city's madame tussands.

really, i don't get why people pay money for this (other than, of course, the ability to pretend to have taken a picture with a celeb). these figures really creep me out. sure, they're realistic and that's pretty great and a fantastic display of talent. but sheesh. fuckin' creeps me out.

lilo not as edgy as paris

a poorly shot, grainy video was released on hey-i-gotta-rub-one-out site, xtube, was said to be of everyone's favorite now-sober(?) lindsay lohan noshing on ex-rehab bf calum best's peen. apparently there were a few other videos connected with the original that have better shots of the girl's face, proving that the video was not, in fact, lilo's.

lindsay, where has your edginess gone?!

source: the blemish

groundbreaking news: wine-o cuts herself

friends of the star say, "meh, at least she's not smoking crack anymore."

ohai! i can has 2 much monee bb?!

what better way to mourn the loss of a beloved pet than to turn that pet into a lovely, sparkly piece of jewelry? think it's a stupid idea? i sure do. while i have mourned the loss of pets in the past, wearing their remains on a chain around my neck or a ring or bracelet isn't exactly an appealing idea to me.

but what do i know? kimora lee simmons thinks it's a lovely idea. that's why she's having the remains of her recently deceased dog, zoe, made into a diamond she can tote around and use as a lovely icebreaker. "hey honey, have i introduced you to zoe? she used to be my puppy, but now she's my fave diiiiaaammoonnnnnd!"

douche.

source: starpulse

this just in: you're not cool

there's no story here. i just had to point out the horrendous "fashion" choices of douchebags soulja boy & lil mama. first of all, mr soulja, what the hell made you think that ruining a perfectly fine pair of d&g sunglasses by scribbling your name across the lenses would be a good idea? it's not cool, and it has to be pretty annoying to see that shit while you're trying to walk around.

second, lil mama, what the hell is that hanging out of your mouth? it looks like a blinged out pacifier (which, hello, so went out of fashion about a decade ago, if not longer... regardless, they were always stupid. it's just worse now that it's not even trendy).

britney to make appearance on how i met your mother

1. her hair appears to have been washed
2. she looks fantastic, all around
3. props to brit brit for demanding that she meet the cast before being given the role, so that they could decide if she was someone they wanted to work for.
4. props to the cast for giving her the go
5. can't wait for monday; everyone best tune in.

britney spears: break the ice

i don't really get it. the video doesn't really relate to the song. but i love it.

k-fed really isn't a bad guy (and still really really hot)

first of all, let's just all rejoice in the fact that k-fed has (allegedly) accepted the fact that he will probably never be taken seriously as a rapper.

if you need anyone to console you k, i'm here.

seriously. you're hot.

but i digress.

because he's hot.

apparently mr fed has been in talks with producers to film a reality show documenting his life as a single dad, but, yummy mchotsalot has nixed those plans in the wake of the ever-changing britney drama. a pretty stand-up move on his part, i think (not to mention, the last thing i think his kids need are cameras in their face at home. they get enough of it when they leave the house).

source: e! online

heath ledger: death an accident

autopsy reports have come back and confirmed that, heath ledger did, in fact, die from an accidental overdose due to a lethal combination of prescription medication. his family is hoping that the suicide/drug abuse rumors come to a halt in the light of this evidence.

here's hoping.

i'm a big boy now

kate hudson was spotted toting an empty stroller around manhattan today, as her 4-year-old son, ryder, walked beside her. this photo prompts the question: what the fuck warrants use of a stroller with a child that old, who is clearly capable of walking on his own two feet?

britney out of the hospital

tmz has reported that britney spears was released from her intended 14-day psychiatric hold after doctors decided she was not a legal danger to herself or anyone else.

britney stayed home for an hour or two (a record for her), before pulling out in her brand-spanking-new mercedes to paint the town crazy. her destination: the beverly hills hotel. swarms of paparazzi (likely the biggest yet) followed her in a "high-speed chase" of o.j. proportions.

shortly after arriving at the beverly hills hotel, super creep adnan was seen pulling up to the hotel. a planned visit? an ambush visit? no one knows.

being preggers is NOT an excuse to look like shit

yeah yeah, so she's rocking the pumps while she's carting around twin babies in her gullet. of course, i agree that this is the most fabulous, diva-rificly awesome thing. ever. i bet vicky beckham wore stilettos every day of her preggersy too. probably even after her water broke.

however, miss lo, just because you're rocking stilettos does not mean you can slack off with the rest of your ensemble. especially at fashion week.



tomorrow, let's show up with, oh, i don't know, maybe hair that looks combed. oh and, being that everyone knows you got a couple buns in your oven, perchance you could rock an outfit that doesn't look like an silk potato sack?

thanks.

britney in rolling stone

once again, britney spears graces the pages of rolling stone. this feature, however, is strikingly different than any of her previous cameos in the notorious music mag. here's an excerpt from the article:

A pop star at the mall is an eternal cause for happiness, especially on a Sunday afternoon in the Valley. One moment, shoppers in the Westfield Topanga mall are living in the real world, monotonously selecting a new shade of eye shadow or rubbing perfume on wrists, but upon the rapture of Britney Spears, they are giggling, laughing, orgasmic, already sharing their secret on cell phones. "Her legs are actually really skinny," an adolescent whispers into her Sidekick, as Britney beelines for the Betsey Johnson boutique, pseudo-punk designer of evening dresses and splashy heels worn to suburban high school proms. In person, Britney is shockingly beautiful — clear skin, ruby lips, a perfectly proportioned twenty-six-year-old porcelain doll with a nasty weave. She cuts through the crowd swiftly, the way she used to when 20,000 adoring fans mobbed her outside a concert, with her paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, trailing behind.

Only a few kids are in the store, a young girl with her brother and two blondes checking out fake-gold charm bracelets. Britney rifles the racks as the Cure's "Pictures of You" blasts into the airless pink boutique, grabbing a pink lace dress, a few tight black numbers and a frilly red crop top, the kind of shirt that Britney used to wear all the time at seventeen but isn't really appropriate for anyone over that age. Then she ducks into the dressing room with Ghalib. He emerges with her black Am Ex.

The card won't go through, but they keep trying it.

"Please," begs Ghalib, "get this done quickly."

One of the girls runs to Britney's dressing room, explaining the situation through a pink gauze curtain.

A wail emerges from the cubby — guttural, vile, the kind of base animalistic shriek only heard at a family member's deathbed. "Fuck these bitches," screams Britney, each word ringing out between sobs. "These idiots can't do anything right!"

Ghalib dashes over to console her, but she's already spitting, growling, throwing a big bottle of soda on the floor so that it begins to spill underneath the curtain, and then she's got a box of tissues and is throwing them on top of the wet floor along with piles of discarded merchandise. A new card finally goes through, but by then Britney is out the door, leaving her shirt on the ground and replacing it with the red top. "Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck," she keeps screaming, her face splotchy and red as she crosses the interminable mall floor, the crowd behind her growing larger and larger. "Leave us alone!" yells Ghalib.

The siblings run after Britney to get a video to put up on YouTube, and some of the shopgirls run after her to hand off the merchandise she left behind, and there's an entire bridal party wearing yellow T-shirts who have pulled out camera phones too. A crush of managers in black shirts and gold name tags try to keep the peace, but the crowd running after Britney gets larger, and now the shopgirls have ­started to catch up to her, one of them slipping spectacularly in her platform shoes, grazing her elbow. She pulls herself up, mustering the strength to tap Britney's shoulder. "Um, I'm from the South too," she mumbles, "and I was wondering if I could get a picture with you for my little sister."

Britney turns to Ghalib and grabs his arm. "I don't want her talking to me!" she screams. She whirls around and stares the girl deep in the eyes, her lips almost vibrating with anger. "I don't know who you think I am, bitch," she snarls, "but I'm not that person."

source: rolling stone

rihanna shows up for nyc fashion week

and apparently she's been taking fashion tips from lindsay.

james bond just got good... err, bad... wait..

neil jackson, also known as god, has reportedly been cast to be the new bad guy in the latest installment of the james bond film series, currently filming.

finally, a reason to watch a james bond movie!

source: mi6

pop star update

as you know, i've sort of laid low on the britney posts as of late. truth be told, the once fun-to-call-crazy pop star has, as everyone knows, taken a huge toll for the worse, and it's not quite so amusing anymore; it's more sad.

anyhoo, to recap: britney's stay at the mount sanai hospital has been extended to a mandatory 14-day stay for psychiatric observation, and legal authority has been transferred from douchebag sam lufti to britney's dad, jamie.

naturally, sam is disputing this decision, but in light of the following e-mail published by bitten and bound, lufti may have some difficulty:

Please get a message to Britney Spears, Sam will probably make her commit suicide, I personally know Sam, PLEASE READ
I personally know Sam Lutfi and he is a master manipulator, he almost made my good friend Danny Haines kill himself.
I just want to get a message to Britney to warn her of Sam’s real intentions.
I have access to hundreds of emails, text messages, voice messages of Sam talking about wanting to kill my friend Danny and that he should just kill himself among other bizarre statements he has made.
Danny met Sam and soon after Danny moved in with Sam as a new roommate, not long after that it went downhill.
I felt like I was Danny’s therapist for several months trying to help him get away from Sam and his brain washing.
Sam had stolen a total around of $18,000 from Danny from using his credit cards to buy plane tickets for himself to forging his checks that the credit card companies send you for cash advances. I went with Danny to one of the gas stations his mom owns to attempt to collect the money from Sam’s mother. I had Sam’s mom with checkbook in hand writing Danny a check until Sam showed up an made a huge scene at the gas station
Danny and I flew my airplane to Las Vegas for the weekend and I spent several hours with Danny and finally got him to call the bank and report the fraud Sam Lutfi had committed against Danny’s bank account. Before that phone call, Danny was very depressed because of what Sam had made him, after that phone call Danny’s eyes has life in them again and we went out that night night and had a great time. Sam is so convincing that about a week later Danny cancelled the fraud report after talking to Sam.
Please do your research on this clown, Danny has a restraining order (the court transcripts prove Sam is a Jackass) find it by searching North Orange County court records Fullerton Ca. case number 07NL02915
Sam also vandalized a older women’s new car at Costco last year because she took his parking spot. Sam took a pair of pliers and destroyed her vehicle. They could not find him because his Mercedes S500 was new and had no license plates yet. I’m in the process of trying to get Sam arrested for that through the Culver City Police Dept.

Thank You,
Ken Dungey

we'll let his e-mail speak for itself. additionally, us weekly reported:

Lutfi has had two restraining order against him for violent verbal and physical attacks, according to complaints obtained by Us, and has gone by multiple aliases, including Osama N. Lutti and Osamah N. Lutfi.

In a 2005 complaint, Jumana Issa, a business acquaintance, claims Lutfi “harassed me repeatedly with obscene e-mails, offensive faxes, telephone voice mails (around 1 a.m. to 3 a.m.), out-of-control behavior and outrageous telephone hang-ups (around 15 to 30 a day).” In one fax, Lutfi scolded: “Peel yourself away from all the candy … and overhangin [sic] belly … and answer my e-mails.”

His former neighbor, Douglas Snoland, filed a similar complaint in 2004, alleging that Lutfi tried to kick down his front door when he suspected Snoland of having his car towed. Snoland also accused Lutfi of wanting to kill his 73-year-old disabled mother. In the complaint, Snoland accused Lutfi of saying: “I will beat your ass … Your mother is a f—–g old hag. You are a f—-t. You will regret the day you ever met me.” Lutfi’s attorney denied the threats, but a judge granted a three-year restraining order to Lutfi to stay at least 15 feet away from Snoland and his mom.

this person needs to be out of her life for good.

colin's bro is a fag!

there is a god.

hollywood beefcake, colin farrell is up for a new role. but no, this isn't for a movie. colin is going to serve as best man for his homo bro's wedding.

colin's bro, eanon, may not be as dreamy as his famous older brother, but hey, he's still got those farrell genes, and i'm still upset that he got picked up by someone who wasn't me.

source: pink news

david cross peta ad

the theory behind this poster being that everyone will be far too busy vomiting to purchase furs.

stabbed in the back by a worm-boy

so, i just found out that james mcavoy appeared with his wife, anne-marie duff to support her on some award she won.

this deeply upsets me.

when the hell did he get married, and when the hell was he going to tell me?!

we're through, james. THROUGH!

source: yahoo news

michelle williams may nix role

in the wake of heath ledger's death, estranged fiancee michelle williams may pull out of her scheduled role opposite leonardo dicaprio... as dicaprio's dead wife.

friends of the grieving actress say that the intense psychological thriller, involving drug experiments, may not be something williams is up for so soon after ledger's death.

who could blame her?

currently williams is keeping a low-profile in her brooklyn home, kept company by her mother and her & ledger's 2-year-old daughter.

source: daily mail

miley miley bo biley

everyone's favorite (and by everyone i mean me) child superstar, hannah montana, has finally acknowledged that "destiny hope" is a pretty stupid name, and as such, has legally changed her name to "miley ray cyrus," the ray, of course, a tribute to her daddy, billy ray.

but wait! there's more! according to newsweek, she's writing a book! but, and this is the cocktease part of the story: she doesn't intend on publishing. it's for her herself.

miley. i love you, but how selfish can you be? share your thoughts!!

also, for one week, starting this friday, theaters around the country will be showing a limited screening of "best of both worlds," a 3-d (yes, you read that right: 3-d!) film of her current tour, complete with backstage footage.

<3<3

arrest at the pitt residence

eric mitchell, a young (25-years-old) freelancer was arrested for allegedly breaking into yummilicious brad pitt's gated community and then discovered (by the housekeeper) on is property. apparently the housekeeper gets to decide whether to press charges.

this story could've been way cooler if the freelancer had, oh i don't know, done something cooky, like streak across brad's front lawn, or y'know, if brad had been home. seriously. now he's all up and getting arrested, and for what?

nothing. that's what.

source: et

r.i.p heath leger

it was the talk of my office when it was declared earlier this evening by tmz, always the leading breaker of celebrity news, tragic or otherwise.

let's now put aside rumors that an olsen twin was there. the fact is, a bodyguard of the olsen's was called because, upon discovery of leger's body, the bodyguard was called because of his close proximity and because said bodyguard was nearby.

leger's death is a question whose answer is sought by many. speculation alludes to a drug overdose, but many question the truth to that.

tmz reports a pill bottle, contents unidentified, were found near the actor's body.

more as the story unfolds.

golden wah-wah-waaahhhhhhh

the golden compass.

i loved nicole kidman. in fact, as i read the entirety of the book series (before i saw the movie but after i knew she was in the film), i couldn't help but picture n. kid as mrs coulter. she was the absolute most perfect choice for the role.

then i saw the movie.

sure, certain things needed to be changed for the sake of keeping an audience captive for two hours.

but then came the ending.

the most PIVOTAL part of the entire novel.

they dropped the ball.

this movie does not get my endorsement.

all i can say is: i'm happy i didn't pay to see it. while it was entertaining, it strayed far too much from the actual story. so i say to you: if you are literate, bypass the movie, and instead, take some time to read the book (and the sequels... they are nothing short of a-fucking-mazing).

that is all.

golden blah

golden globe awards apparently happened tonight.

yup. it's true.

but you wouldn't know. why? because the fucking network executives are continuing to prove that they're a bunch of money-hungry assholes.

no one showed.

no one accepted awards.


hey, ratings have never been better!!!






fuck you execs. you're nothing without the writers. give the writers what they're due. goddamned greedy pieces of shit.

get that limey brit away from brit!

first of all, i don't care what anyone says. k-fed may have fucked up seriously while married to our lady brit brit, but in recent months, he seems to have redeemed himself tenfold.

and let's be honest, he is just so goddamn delicious. i mean, really. i would. twice.

anyhoo, that's besides the point. according to showbizspy.com, k-fed and his team of tenacious lawyers are working hard to have brit's alleged photog boyfriend taken away from her. how? you may ask. allegedly they are working to prove that his immigration paperwork is not entirely in order; effectively, they want this guy deported.

say what you want, k-fed is at least giving the appearance that he still cares for britney (and as far as i'm concerned, he has more than proved he cares deeply for his children). he knows that this guy, who trailed britney for 18-months before she was finally unstable enough to agree to date a papz, and this is not a time where brit should be fraternizing with the enemy.

another baby.

ugh, getting preggers is soooooo 2007. way to be out of fashion nicky.

hannah montana rox

star-ledger writer carrie stetler wrote an article detailing a list of 15 reasons she believes that people should love teenie-bop-sensation miley cyrus, including the fact that she's not a spoiled brat, she has a monthly allowance, and she's never been to rehab.

pfft.

i say that, while i agree everyone should love ms. cyrus, that list should be limited to a mere four points:

1. her t.v. show
2. see you again
3. let's dance
4. east northumberland high

interested in the full list of 15? you can read that here.

back on track

2008 looks to begin a fresh start for the newly-rehabilitated lilo. according to a statement lohan released to larry king, the pop-star is making a concerted effort to cut back on smoking, and she's back in the recording studio, working on her third album.

so sure, maybe the crazy, normally entertaining antics may be gone, but here's hoping that sober lilo can start to produce entertaining things that we can buy at stores and listen to/watch over and over.

eating is for non-divas!

mariah carey, best-known for being a self-centered floosie with an amazing set of pipes, was seen carrying a burger around st. barts in the caribbean. but our lady diva ho wasn't eating it. no, no. just carrying it.

create the illusion, and they shall believe it.

am i right?

nicole's preggers scare

the morning after christmas, nicole richie, feeling "dizzy and disoriented" was rushed to the hospital, thanks to her quick-reacting boyfriend, joel madden. after having had a scare a few months back, when nicole experience heavy bleeding, the mother-to-be wasn't going to take any chances. thankfully, everything checked out okay.

source: hollyscoop

i finally have a chance

the national enquirer, our country's most reputable source of reliable news--news that is never made up and always thoroughly fact-checked--has reported that yummilicious zac efron has broken up with longtime honey bunny vanessa hudgens, just days before christmas.

sources also say, mr. efron was lured away from his hot girlfriend by none other than yours truly.

we're in love. don't hate.

britney's meltdown

it's not even funny anymore. it's sad, and the images are kind of haunting. seeing britney go from a vacant, lost expression to laughter and back, all in the span of a few seconds.

last night, hours after britney skipped her third depo with k-fed's lawyers, the young pop-star refused to give up her children to k-fed's bodyguards, despite her court-arranged visit having come to an end. while britney's monitor brought preston to the bodyguard's car, britney locked herself in a room with jayden, refusing to leave. the monitor called the police, who showed up, ambulance soon to follow, and the door had to be broken down to retrieve the fallen star and her surely scared child.

a broken britney was strapped to a gurney and taken away by ambulance. the photos taken were haunting. at first, officials believed that she was under the influence of some unknown substance, but i immediately disbelieved it, being that the court monitor was with her. it was later confirmed that she was not on any substance, and that her erratic behavior was likely due to a mental breakdown, likely related to a bipolar disorder.

britney is currently under a 72-hour mental health watch at a local hospital, being considered a threat to both herself and others.

she truly is just a girl who needs help.